Pure Twaddle

(Scene: Friday, 2 a.m. underground at a Brooklyn subway station. The hallway is sparsely populated by a few lone late-night revelers.)

(Enter a large, lumbering, black woman from stage right)

LLBW: (addresses Stranger 1 loudly in Carribean accent): Have you SEEN the light of Jesus Christ?!

Stranger 1: Uh, no. (Exits stage right)

LLBW: (to Stranger 2): Have YOU seen the LIGHT of Jesus Christ?!

Stranger 2: Sure… (Quickly exits stage right)

(Your Hero enters from stage left)

LLBW: (To Your Hero) HAVE you SEEN the LIGHT OF CHRIST?!

YH: Nope.

LLBW: (Enraged, screaming) I WIPE MY FILTHY HANDS ON YOU! (Wipes imaginary muck on Your Hero’s sleeve)

YH: ( Looks around to see if anyone else witnessed this. To himself) What the f…?

LLBW: (Exits stage left; To unseen stranger) Have you SEEN the light of Christ?!

Fin

——

Seriously, you can’t make up this kind of action. New York is the strangest place on earth.

Popularity: 6% [?]

A recent SPAM message in it’s entirety:

phatbartimaeus@clin02.cassiopea.it
to me

subject: Watch her come over and over

Why lie? I need money.

I admire his honesty, so I sent him $1,000 by wire transfer.

Popularity: 16% [?]

So, Michael Phelps is in hot water for allegedly smoking pot in North Carolina and now some of his friends have been arrested because of the infamous photo. What’s worse is that he’s even lost sponsorships because of this “despicable” behavior. What truly saddens me is that he didn’t lose any sponsorships when he was busted for DUI at age 19. So very telling about our government and society’s current attitudes on drugs.

Now if only Michael Phelps had the cojones to stand up and say “I smoke. So what?” As annoying as Bill Maher is, he spoke the truth last night on Larry King. Take a look.

Popularity: 19% [?]

In Germany and Austria, one of the greatest winter traditions is the Christkindlmarkt. These large outdoor markets usually take place in the town’s square or Marktplatz (market place). For some, it’s an opportunity to purchase hand-made Christmas gifts or sweets. For most everyone else it’s a good excuse to get drunk on Glühwein. Even after the Christmas stands pack up and disappear, the Glühwein stands remain open until after New Year’s Eve.

Glühwein (pronouced Gloo-vine) is essentially mulled wine, consisting of spices, sugar and red wine. It’s a great party drink. Here’s my favorite recipe:

Ingredients:*
3/4 cup white sugar
3/4 cup water
1 cinnamon stick
5-6 whole cloves
1 lemon
1 (3/4 liter) bottle of red wine

Instructions:
Put the water in a saucepan. Add the cloves, cinnamon stick, and sugar. Bring to boil over high heat. Reduce heat and simmer for 30 minutes.

Cut the lemon in half and squeeze its juice into the simmering mixture. Zest the lemon and add as well.

After 30 minutes, strain out the solid bits and add the wine. Heat very slowly over low heat. Do not boil as the alcohol will burn off. When just below boiling, serve in a mug or, if you have it, a Glühwein cup.

Some of the hardcore Germans add brandy or schnapps to their Glühwein. Do this with caution.

*Double these for twice the Glühwein

Popularity: 8% [?]