Pure Twaddle

One of the questions that has plagued me since the advent this digital age: are there really this many screwed up people in the world, or did the internet just make them more visible?

From Craigslist.org NYC:

“young jabba the hut looking for a temporary apartment, prefers something cool and damp, like a basement, and most preferably near washer and dryer (he loves the smell!) also he is neat and tidy (get him now before he becomes a huge ball of slime) and likes to fall asleep being read love poetry, preferably in arabic though fractured french is also accepted. good cuddler, too, and just so darn cute. check out the artist’s rendering: http://www.flickr.com/photos/bearandbird/3707464588/in/set-72157621227964172/“

Popularity: 10% [?]

Actual Craigslist sublet title:

$550 very specious Brooklyn apt. to share

At least they’re honest, just like my previous spammer.

Popularity: 9% [?]

Reply to: job-yeah-right-1255781602@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-07-06, 11:54AM EDT

GazillionBazillions (www.gazbaz.moc), the leading financial, political, and scientific blog site, is in search of two talented editorial interns for the summer.

Responsibilities:

• Provide administrative support for the department/division such as answering telephones, selling advertising, and filling in when the most experienced staff fail to show up.
• Bring order to our filing “bucket,” a large bin where we’ve been throwing important documents since our company’s inception.
• Provide helpdesk solutions for our overpaid, under-educated staff
• Make executive-level decisions about the direction of the company. Must be willing to accept responsibility to shareholders for said decisions.
• Repair drywall/Remove water stains
• Throw rose petals (self supplied) in the wake of our CEO, while never treading on his shadow

Requirements:

• A steady hand
• Must currently be a student
• College degree required (Masters or PH.D. preferred)
• 18 1/2 years of professional writing, editing, and tap-dancing experience at a major newspaper or magazine
• Must have flexible morality/be willing to break the law
• Intimate knowledge of quantum mechanics and/or molecular biology
• Proficiency with Mac, Windows, Unix, Linux, ENIAC, and Kremvax
• Must be available to work no fewer than 60 hours/week
• Ability to levitate a big plus.

Candidates fluent in Mandarin & Cantonese will be considered first.

Please send us a short paragraph about why you want this internship as well as a proposed solution to the Hodge Conjecture (no longer than 140 characters, plz) to the e-mail above.

* Compensation: Unpaid (Meal stipend possible)
* This is an internship “job”
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Popularity: 3% [?]